Marry Yourselves: State Guide (2027)

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Self-solemnization means the couple themselves perform and certify their marriage, without an officiant solemnizing it. You declare your vows to each other, sign the license as required, and file it — the state recognizes the marriage because its law permits couples to marry this way.

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The tradition survives mainly where historical religious practice — notably Quaker self-uniting marriages — shaped the law. Most states instead require an authorized officiant, so self-solemnization remains the exception in American marriage law, not a nationwide option couples can elect anywhere.

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Colorado is the state most commonly cited for straightforward self-solemnization: couples may solemnize their own marriage and complete the certificate themselves. Even so, confirm the current process with the specific county clerk issuing your license, since forms and filing details are administered locally.

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Pennsylvania is commonly cited for its self-uniting marriage license, a distinct license type with historical Quaker roots. Couples must request the correct license type at the county office — a standard license and a self-uniting license are not interchangeable paperwork.

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Wisconsin is commonly cited as permitting self-solemnization in certain circumstances, sometimes connected to the couple’s religious beliefs or customs, and county interpretation can vary. Because the conditions matter, discuss your exact plan with the issuing county clerk before relying on this route.

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Washington, DC is commonly cited among jurisdictions allowing couples to officiate their own marriage. As a single-city jurisdiction its process is centralized, but you should still confirm the current application and certificate steps with the DC authorities before planning a trip around them.

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Outside the commonly cited places, expect the law to require an authorized officiant — clergy, judge or registered officiant — and sometimes witnesses too. If your state is not known for self-solemnization, plan on an officiant unless your county clerk confirms an exception in writing.

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Self-solemnizing never skips the license. You still apply at the county, meet its ID, fee and waiting-period rules, collect the license within its validity window, and complete your ceremony before it expires. The freedom is in the ceremony, not in the paperwork.

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Some self-solemnizing processes still expect witness signatures on the certificate, even without an officiant. Confirm how many witnesses your county’s form provides for and whether they must be present at the declaration or simply sign the completed certificate.

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Without an officiant, structure carries the moment: an opening grounding, personal vows, an exchange of rings, a clear declaration that you take each other as spouses, and a closing celebration. Speaking an unmistakable declaration aloud matters emotionally — and mirrors the legal act you are signing.

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Complete every field exactly as the form directs: names as on the license, ceremony date and county, signatures in the correct boxes. Errors on self-completed certificates are the main cause of filing delays, because no officiant double-checks the paperwork for you.

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The completed license must be returned to the issuing office within the county’s deadline, by the method it specifies. Calendar the deadline the day you collect the license, keep proof of posting or delivery, and confirm receipt if the office allows enquiries.

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After filing, order certified copies of the marriage certificate exactly as officiated couples do. You will need them for name changes, passports, insurance and records, and ordering extras at the source remains the cheapest, fastest route.

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Beyond the commonly cited states, some faith traditions — Quaker meetings and the Baháʼí faith among them — have recognized routes for marriages without individual clergy in certain places. These belong to the faith communities, with their own requirements, and are not a general public shortcut around officiant law.

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Where self-solemnization is unavailable, the usual alternative is a friend or family member becoming authorized to officiate under your state’s rules. It keeps the intimate, self-shaped ceremony while satisfying officiant requirements — often the reason couples research self-solemnization in the first place.

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Some couples travel to a self-solemnizing state specifically for the freedom, marrying legally there before celebrating at home. Your marriage, valid where performed, generally travels home with you — but confirm license residency rules, since some counties have expectations about applicants.

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A marriage validly performed in one US state is generally recognized in others, including self-solemnized ones. Keep your certified certificate accessible for any agency that asks how the marriage was solemnized, and expect curiosity rather than obstacles from officials unfamiliar with the format.

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Self-solemnization is largely an American curiosity; the UK, Canada and most countries require an authorized officiant or registrar at a licensed venue. Couples abroad should plan for an officiant-led legal ceremony, or marry legally in a US state that allows self-solemnization and celebrate elsewhere.

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Build small rituals into the self-led format: reading letters from family, exchanging vows from handwritten books, planting a tree, or sharing sparkling cider at a summit. Without an officiant’s voice, these anchors give the ceremony shape, gravity and unforgettable photographs.

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A self-solemnized elopement has no natural photographer, so plan coverage: hire a photographer who doubles as witness where permitted, or use a tripod and remote for the declaration. Confirm whether a photographer-witness is acceptable on your county’s form if you rely on their signature.

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Self-led ceremonies often happen in remote beauty spots. Check land permits for your chosen spot, plan weather backups, and decide how you will share the news afterward — announcement cards, a celebration party, or a reception weeks later for family and friends.

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Some relatives feel hurt learning a wedding happened without them, even a two-person legal ceremony. A thoughtful announcement — promptly, warmly, with photos and an invitation to celebrate together soon — prevents most bruised feelings around an elopement-style choice.

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Use your legal names exactly as printed on your IDs across the application, certificate and later certified-copy requests. Self-filed paperwork gets no officiant’s proofread, so a mismatched middle name or wrong date is yours to catch before filing, not after.

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Finish where you started: the issuing county clerk confirms license type, witness needs, signing order and filing deadline for your exact date and county. Rules differ even between counties in the same state, and clerks would always rather answer questions beforehand than correct filings afterward.

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For couples who choose it, self-solemnization distills marriage to its essence: two people, freely promising, signing their names. Where the law allows it and the paperwork is done properly, it is as legal, binding and romantic as any cathedral ceremony — and entirely your own.